There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?)
She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit? He does joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref. One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like 'Oo ya lookin at?' Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.' Mary's totally gobsmacked. She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah? I ain't no Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!'So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself. Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an' that. She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an' that we are gonna get.' Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right'
Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an' go dahn Bethlehem on that. They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop, yeah? To have her bay-bee an' that. But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an' enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep an' that.
Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on their heads. They're like 'Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're wise men from the East End. Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein an' myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?' It's all about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got another message from this Lord geezer. He's like 'The police is comin an' they're killin all the bay-bees. You better nash off to Egypt.' Joe goes 'You must be monged if you think I'm goin' dahn Egypt on a minging donkey' Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you stay.'
So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-born an' it's safe an'that. Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns water into Stella.
Writer and director Paul Anthony Morris’s latest work is an action packed political satire that takes us into the sometimes surreal world of politics and survival in Jamaica. 35 Cents, the first major work for Crying in the Wilderness Productions, plays at the Blue Elephant Theatre in Camberwell, London, from 8th May - 26th May (Tuesdays to Saturdays).
It’s election time in Jamaica and the campaigns are already smouldering with intimidation and violence. Fatigued by ever increasing levels of poverty and corruption on the Island, a new student organisation called the ‘No Confidence Movement’ enters the political arena. Their mission, to lead the electorate on a national boycott of the general elections to protest against International and Corporate interference in the Island’s affairs. However, as our youngTickets cost £10 and the box office can be reached at 020 7701 0100. Post Show Discussions will be held on the 17th and 24th, hosted by Kwame Kwei-Armagh.
protagonists prepare to embark on their campaign, they are confronted with the reality that political power comes at a price. The question is, who’s going to pay?
Check out this amazing clip of Amy Winehouse covering Michael Jackson's "Beat It." Yeah this clip is a bit dated, but Drunk Girl Singing NEVER gets old.
To mark the conclusion of their "Third World Week" celebration, a cricket team in a small English village invites a West Indian cricket team from South London to a charity game.TTW screenings are free, and showtime is 7PM. Read a decade old NY Times review here.
Not surprisingly, there's wariness on both sides. But Willie Boy (Norman Beaton), the proud, wryly philosophical captain of the Conquistadors, is intent on accepting the invitation. Meanwhile, the captain of the Sneddington Cricket Club, the innocent but overweeningly self-satisfied Derek (Nicholas Farell), is confident of a handy Sunday afternoon victory.
Obviously, the possibilities, both comic and serious, in this cultural exchange are endless, and the filmmakers seem not to have missed any of them. But, for all the film's abundant humor, Ove, said to be Britain's first black film maker, and the Oxford-educated Phillips, never let us forget that racial tensions lurk beneath the occasion's sure of good will. In the end, Playing Away’s pleasures are subtle and genuine.”
I'm going to be playing DJ tomorrow night, working the iTunes to go with a selection from Alex of recent pics. It's at 'Conversations in the Yard', a weekly event from 12 the band. If you haven't been as yet it's a bit like going round to a friend's house who has set up a bar in their backyard. v.chilled. Location is Alice Yard, 80 Roberts Street, Woodbrook. Opposite side of the street from Brooklyn Bar, about three doors down heading East. From 8:30ish.More artists turned iPod Deejays? Lookout, world.
So everyone who faced the line for the London launch of the PS3 and bought one got a free 46" HDTV and a taxi to take it home.
I'm not impressed Sony - turns out they didn't let the lucky gamers actually keep the taxis.
Oh you British, your wonders never cease to amaze.