Culturosity

-----Original Message-----
From: Clark from Facebook [mailto:appeals-comment@facebook.com]
Sent: Friday, November 02, 2007 10:59 PM
To: xxx@hotmail.com
Subject: [rt.facebook.com #7210642] FW: Warning: Your Facebook Account

Hi Christopher,

You have already been given a second chance when we
reactivated your account on 6/20/07. You received numerous
warnings to slow down your activity. Failure to adhere to those
warnings has resulted in the permanent loss of your account.
We will not be able to reactivate your account, nor will you be
able to recover any content within the account. This decision is
final.

Thank you for understanding,

Clark
Customer Support Representative
Facebook

[xxx@hotmail.com - Thu Nov 01 16:44:29 2007]:

hi i got disabled for messaging my friends about my new
facebook group. can you please re-enable my account?

thanks
CHRIS> Date: Thu, 1 Nov 2007 16:28:13 -0700> To:
xxx@hotmail.com> From: info
+ovzopzre@facebookmail.com> Subject: Warning: Your
Facebook Account> > Hi,> > Your account has been disabled
for persistent misuse of the site. Please contact
disabled@facebook.com for more information.> > The Facebook
Team> >
_______________________________________________________________

You might forget your English by the time you finish reading this.

This is a true essay written by a Bihari (a person from the North Indian state of Bihar) candidate at the UPSC (IAS ? Indian Administrative Service) Examinations. The candidate has written an essay on the Indian cow.

Indian Cow HE IS THE COW. "The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4 footed, And because he is female, he give milks, [but will do so when he is got child]. He is same like God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards. His whole body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. Milk comes from 4 taps attached to his basement. [horses don't have any such attachment]

What can it do ? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally. His motion is slow only because he is of lazy species, Also his other motion.. gober (i.e dung) is much useful to trees, plants as well as for making flat cakes (like Pizza), in hand and drying in the sun.

Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating. Then afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are situated in the inside of the mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass. His only attacking and defending organ is the horns, specially so when he is got child. This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons to be paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great velocity forwards. He has got tails also, situated in the backyard, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other side. This is done to frighten away the files which alight on his cohesive body hereupon he gives hit with it. The palms of his feet are soft unto the touch. So the grasses head is not crushed.

At night time have poses by looking down on the ground and he shouts. His eyes and nose are like his other relatives.

This is the cow....

LONDON: (AFP) British tourists have left the residents of one charming Austrian village effing and blinding by constantly stealing the signs for their oddly named village. While British visitors are finding it hilarious, the residents of Fucking (Austria) are failing to see the funny side. Only one kind of criminal stalks the sleepy 32-house village near Salzburg on the German border - cheeky British tourists armed with a sense of humor and a screwdriver. But the local authorities are hitting back with the signs now set in concrete, police chief Kommandant Schmidtberger is on the lookout.

“We will not stand for the Fucking signs being removed,” the officer said. “It may be very amusing for you British, but Fucking is simply Fucking to us. What is this big Fucking joke? It is puerile.” Local tourist guide Andreas Behmueller said it was only the British that had a fixation with Fucking. “The Germans all want to see the Mozart house in Salzburg,” he explained. “Every American seems to care only about ‘The Sound of Music’ (the 1965 film shot around Salzburg.) The occasional Japanese wants to see Hilter’s birthplace in Braunau.”

“But for the British, it’s all about Fucking.” Guesthouse manager Augustina Lindelbauer described the village’s breathtaking lakes, forests and vistas. “Yet still there is this obsession with Fucking,” she said. “Just this morning I had to tell an English lady that there were no Fucking postcards.” We don’t know how severe the stolen sign problem there really is, but Austria is indeed home to a town called ‘Fucking’ (48′ 03″N 13′ 51″E). Pronounced “fooking,” the little hamlet of Fucking is named after the man who founded the village in the 6th century. His name? Focko.

Forgive me, but I've been busy re-organising my Scotch Tape collection.

Sometimes you start off blogging all hot and sweaty and you feel like yeah man i going to do this and talk about that, but then you just kinda get bored of it and go back to watching porn and downloading songs.

"I've got a headache" seems tame in comparison:

The New England Journal of Medicine study said the risk was almost nine times higher for people who reported oral sex with more than six partners.

Sheryl Crow has officially changed her name to Miss Dookie Crumbs.

Richard Gere kisses an Indian, gerbils burn effigy in protest.

Forget SSS, this is probably the Best Show Evar. Period.

For all you denim heads out there in Reader Land (all none of you), here's an interesting article to share with friends and family, if you're having difficulty explaining your obsession.

Is Mims really hot? You decide.

The show must go on!

Thanks Howitgolook, Nick Dangers, Rachael, Anya and Wattie. Whew.

This clip gets four thumbs up. And I've only got two hands.

Get in the habit - eat more rabbit.

Slate has the history of the vibrator in slide show form. Here are a few highlights:

• Vibrator innovation was a driving force behind the creation of the small electric motor.
• Hamilton Beach, patented its first take-home vibrator in 1902.
• The vibrator was the 5th electrical appliance to be introduced into the home. By 1917, there were more vibrators than toasters in American homes.
• Vibrators came back into the mainstream in the 1990s, thanks to the Reagan administration. With the public health threat of AIDS looming, Surgeon General C. Everett Koop mailed out a list of safe-sex options to every household in the land in the late 1980s. Vibrators were on it.

1. Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people-whether they are employed or not.
2. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
3. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.
4. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.
5. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
6. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
7. If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.
8. Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
9. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
10. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
11. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
12. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
13. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off-even while scuba diving.
14. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
15. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do.
16. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
17. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
18. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
19. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
20. Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now.
21. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
22. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
23. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
24. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps.
25. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
26. When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English.

I've decided to put all the relevant (and mostly irrelevant) stuff that I come across locally and internationally on a blog so that yalls can check it out. It's mostly for my own self-promotion, but maybe you could learn something or find out something interesting as I immortalise myself in prose.

Back to your regularly scheduled smoking jacket and slippers.